Ieri
from Cities and Memories, Act III
Date
2023/7 - 2023/11
Media
[The scale of the weight of the past] Arduino UNO, servo motor, breadboard, photoresistor, breadboard, jump wire, resistor (220 ohm), ultrasonic sensor, Arduino IDE code, wood board, gesso, watercolor, double-sided tape, foam board, wood glue, copper wire (red), clear fishing wire, USB cable
[A letter from him] block printing water soluble ink (black), watercolor paint, superfine soft white card stock (80#)
[Envelope] toned tan mixed media paper (vellum surface, 184lb)
Dimension
[The scale of the weight of the past] 8.38” x 8.38” x 8”
[A letter from him] folded: 7.17” x 7.87” x 0.07” | expanded: 7.17” x 18.23” x 0.02”
[Envelope] 11.14” x 8.58” x 0.2”
Category
Personal Project, Speculative Design, Installation, Electronic Art, Print Making, Creative Writing, Graphic Design, Visual Narrative, Autobiography
Ieri is one of the fictional cities from the collection Cities and Memorie - the city of the past, the city of the yesterday, the city of the lost relationship… Composed of two parts, the scale of the weight of the past and A letter from him, the project dives deep into the topic of female experience in a patriarchal society and our relationship with our past relationships, in other words, how do we deal with the restrictions and thrive upon the adversities in modern social landscapes.
The weight of the past grows heavier the further we walk away from it. Is this the inevitable curse of eventual loss, or is it the path through which we gain the ultimate power of letting go?
— the elongated shadow of the dusk
… He had sworn to quit the neighbourhood of man and hide himself in deserts, but she had not; and she, who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning animal, might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation…
— Frankenstein, or, The modern Prometheus: the 1818 text, Chapter 20
Hint: the blood-red ornaments are a series of encoded, time-related words.
Documentation
The paradox of the past's weight on the scale unfolds as the owner moves away, witnessing an increase in the object's “weight of the past“. Conversely, upon approaching the object, its weight or value diminishes. To amplify its significance, one must relinquish possession. The weight of the object on this scale belongs solely to the untouchable past.
Both the letter and envelope are larger than the normal sizes. The ink and watercolor-printed letter has three sections, written through the voice of the same person but with hints of different roles — father, lover, patriarchal society (the ultimate, abstract male figure). The two fonts, a black distorted sans-serif font, and floral ornament in blood reds represent the male and female elements.
Background
A Grown-Up Story
[First year] The winter after I left for college in California, my father had a cerebral hemorrhage. He was then found to have stage IV glioblastoma - an aggressive brain cancer. We got to spend another year together as I was back the following summer because of the pandemic.
[Second year] Then he became hemiplegic and underwent another craniotomy due to a recurrence the following year. He has been in a coma since then.
[Third year] After returning back to the US. I met him at a school club. He took me on a hike on Veteran's Day and kissed me in front of a waterfall. We chatted for long hours under the dark sky and traveled through many, many states. He says he was diagnosed with PTSD, but I just smiled and held his hand.
[Fourth year] He moved to another state for school. He tried to cheer me up when I told him about the news about my father, my COVID-19 fever, and the rising dictatorship in my country. The next morning, he broke up with me in a phone call.
[Fifth year] I graduated the next summer. I found a fight gym, met new friends and my coach—he is strong (much stronger than my father) and has a kind heart. All the students like him, and people say he is stepping into his best years of fighting. In his next fight, he got pushed against the cage and repeatedly beaten to the head. He told his daughter “Daddy is fine” and announced his retirement.
[A short moment] That evening, driving home, tears started to flow down my cheeks, but I didn’t know why. For a moment, I thought I heard from my father—who has been bedridden for years and incapable of speaking, and who used to be strong enough to protect and send his daughter away from a deteriorating society robbed of freedom… I am growing stronger as each year has passed by. But still, I feel so powerless—for being constantly abandoned; or for the horror of witnessing the painful experience I cannot even picture myself going through? I felt like a little girl panicking after getting lost with my father—the now crumbling main character of the story.
[Sixth year?] Next year, I will head to another city furthering my education. Soon it will be another departure, another separation, another loss, which I have finally learned to face—the stinging blessing pushing me to finally live out my own story.
A Common Pattern
In The Second Sex, de Beauvoir described the dilemma of the independent woman—the achievements and recognitions gained by those unconventional females are seen through the mainstream male perspective. In other words, the success of a woman can be easily attributed to the disproportionally more resources men own in a patriarchal environment. Thus having more women with higher achievements and recognitions could not truly touch the crux of the constrained and underdeveloped female experience. Women need to explore their identity as a protagonist rather than the outstanding supporting character of a male tale.
However, with the factor of emotional bond and aging in mind, this self-exploration journey is far from simple as a female may very likely experience coziness with the price of freedom, the freedom with the price of sorrow, and witness the downfall of the father figure that used to be her source of power and recognition.
Concept
Female experience in a patriarchal society
As discussed in A Common Pattern, the dominance of the patriarchal mindset and the (unavoidable) downfall of the father figure shape the female living experience even today. The father, (heterosexual) lover, social conventions can act both as a restriction and a rebellion force for her. Sometimes, these roles, played by different individuals, seem to converge into one abstract entity with which a woman constantly converses and struggles since birth.
A Letter from him is an experimental piece consisting of three sections: the weakened father, the mentally traumatized lover, and the self-contradictory patriarchal society. Together, they formed an illusion of a single voice directed towards the female receiver.
The letter is both an autobiography of the female challenges and an observation of the male struggles from a female point of view. Oddly enough, a woman holds both male and female voices in her head, but she is neither, as both are the product of patriarchal values--a broken man and a (not) supportive (enough) woman.
However, with the blood-red floral patterns replacing key information beyond the knowledge of the female, the letter can also be interpreted as a story reconstructed by her—the real and only protagonist of the narration. The peaceful but assertive counting from one to twelve (encoded by the floral patterns) does not fill the unknown blank of the male storyline, but in its own pace, it parallels with its unique form of courage and acceptance--an attempt to explore the true female voice.
The weight of the past
The concept of Ieri, the invisible city of the past, is a mental landscape constructed through one’s experiences. It embodies nostalgia, transforming insignificant moments and unclear decisions into meaningful connections within a coherent autobiography.
In essence, Ieri is a city filled with lost things and unreachable people, but at the same time, it is an empty city with nobody but oneself.
As death is an indispensable part of the life cycle, letting go becomes an unavoidable stage we must confront in any connection. The kitsch objects and the commercialization of nostalgia may seem soulless, as they are clueless simulations of the original, unreachable elements from Ieri.
The physical distance of the Scale of the Weight of the Past is a metaphor for letting go. It is a weight that spans physical, temporal, and mental distances—a power we can only attain by leaving certain relations behind.
Perhaps rebirth is the sole method to retrieve souls from Ieri—a rebirth of the individual who walks away with the power of the past.
Process
The scale of the weight of the past
All the wood pieces for the scale are designed using Illustrator and then sent to a laser cut machine.
The pieces are subsequently drilled with numerous small holes and sewn together with clear fishing wires. Several small pieces were glued. Then, the scale was coated with a thin layer of gesso.
After the installation of the electronic parts, the scale was watercolored.
The design and implementation of the electronic circuit
The circuit is designed to contain a servo for scale hand rotation, an ultrasonic sensor for distance reading, a photoresistor for detecting objects being placed on the scale (by blocking the light source), and a Liquid Crystal Display (LCD) for checking the correctness of distance reading.
The LCD was later removed when the test was completed.
The electronic parts and codes were created using Arduino.
A letter from him
The finished text was imported to InDesign for layout using fonts Akrobat and Bodoni Ornaments.
Subsequently, the text was imported into Illustrator and transformed into outlined shapes, allowing for each letter to be manually distorted. The letter was divided into three panels for printmaking.
Using a laser-cutting machine, the text was deep-engraved into wood boards.
Three silicon molds were then cast using these engraved wood boards.
Block print ink was applied to the passage in distorted Akrobat, while the floral symbols in Bodoni Ornaments were hand-colored with different shades of red.
Finally, the inked silicon molds were evenly pressed onto trimmed letter paper. (Multiple attempts were made until the prints were clear and readable.)
The envelope
A huge hand-fold envelop was made to fit the letter.